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Every day of your life people tell you what you can and can’t do. Parents, spouses, children, doctors, teachers, and bosses all exist to tell you what is possible and what is not. Most of us view our lives rolling ahead on fixed rails like a train. One rail is possibility, the other is limitations.

I have tended to view both rails as being flexible, rather than two parallel lines running out into infinity. These lines sometimes draw farther apart, and other times may even cross. You may have to go up on one set of wheels to stay alive or unharmed, but it is doable. Some of us are better at viewing both our possibilities and our limitations realistically. While others use perceived limitations to stop themselves from taking on risk.

I certainly ran smack into my limitations from time to time. I take beatings breaking out through the surf, or sometimes I can’t even get off of a beach because of 35 knots of wind. In the last three years it happened quite a few times, where I sprinted for a frisbee against a college kid, dove because I was too slow, and then wound up getting hurt. (cracked ribs, torn tendons etc).

One of my goals in life is to demonstrate to people the flexibility of both possibilities and limitations. When you begin to view events as possibilities where your limitations will be tested, you expect to fail occasionally, but will more than likely succeed where you can visualize your path to success.

My distance running has been on again, off again for the last few years due to injuries. It all started with my Chicago marathon in 2003 where I had my best race ever with a 3:40 minute marathon. I soon began having problems with my IT band, then my back, then a whole summer of ultimate frisbee collisions.

I have been told by co-workers, friends, doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors and others that I am not meant to run long distances. My wife Laura has always been behind me and my running. She is often waiting at home until 7:30 at night to start dinner, or waiting on weekends for me to run before leaving for family events. I set out this winter after my latest injury (calf muscle pull) to build slowly to being able to do a half marathon again, a race distance I hadn’t run since 2006.

I started my training in earnest this January. I viewed my training as flexible. No distance was bad distance. I just needed to be consistent about days, and not worry about time. I often wouldn’t look at my watch during my training runs. I would head out to run and take the pace that felt right. As I neared closer to the race I began to add a long run on the weekend that was 7 miles or more, peaking at 11 miles. Coincidentally never take a short legged beagle on an 11 mile run you might kill him.

I thought I was going to run with my brother Kris, but as it turns out he had a Basketball tournament for my niece Hannah.

I went out to the race with the thought that I would finish in under 2 hours, I ran the Borgess Half in 2002 and finished in 1:53 minutes. This year, I had a great race running 8 minute miles finishing in 1:51. I was pretty happy with the result. I would love to shave off another 5 minutes. But I am totally happy with the time considering how much time I had to train. I certainly don’t think that I am a world champion, but I do believe that if I had listened to all the advice I’ve heard over the last few years, I would never have even trained for the race and would have gone on to swimming or something. But the swelling sense of achievement I felt sprinting for the finish line was as palpable as that feeling the tail of my surf kayak lifting in ocean swell to head down wave.

As I hit the finish line I felt the sparks go off as my wheels hit the crossing of the rails possibility and limitations. I had stretched both to achieve the goal despite the world trying to bend the rail of limitations in on me.

My limitations may catch up to me later this year for pushing the limit of what my body can realistically do, but I am happy to have accomplished the goal without injury.

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Anyone who has run a marathon, cycled a long race, or camped in the woods for 10 days will tell you wet wipes are the bang! Wet wipes are small, moist, antiseptic squares of civilization. Crohn’s/Colitis makes them an essential piece of gear for any run or ride over two hours. Further, when on long wilderness trips, a good moist towelette will make you feel like the king of England even while being eaten alive by mosquitoes on a bear infested island on the north shore of Lake Superior.

Action Wipes are the evolved offspring of your garden variety wet wipe. For athletes the enticing aroma of eucalyptus and tea tree oil, might be enough. The fact that they are bigger, and more resilient should really sell you.

They claim they are great for cleaning off saltwater after surfing. We freshy’s don’t worry about that. But obviously they have other uses.

I discovered this product via Bike Skirt’s Blog. Credit should go where credit is due. The Action Wipes product review is worth reading there as well.

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As I look back on 2008, I had it pretty good this year.

1. 10 years of marriage under my belt
2. Gabriel and Isabella are both healthy and doing well in school.
3. I finally got to do the circle tour with my family
4. I am gainfully employed, yeahh!

I think I had been focusing on some negative things since about February. Being injured and incapable of doing the things I love made me a bit cranky, and sometimes hard to be around. I did have a series of horrific incidents all in one fell swoop. Incapacitating abdominal and groin pain that led to a hernia.

I ended up having surgery for the hernia in April right before WMCKA Symposium.

And then my ultimate frisbee season began. Whoa nelly! Torn tendons and cracked ribs ensued. Leading to many weeks of inactivity in prime season for paddling. I am not necessarily giving up on frisbee, but I may be less focused on being an aggressive hucker and diver. I don’t need to be the lame 35 year old guy laying out for discs.

I got up on January 1 2009 in my mildly hungover, (ok way hungover state) and had some waffles and bacon. Tim Brady, my neighbor and running buddy came over and reminded me that we were going to do the 1:1:1 fun run. I changed in a flash and was in his car headed out to Borgess soon after. When the run started I was trying to hold down my waffles and bacon for the first 2 mile loop. But soon settled in to a good pace. While out there I had one of those epiphanies you only have while running.

I think I’ve been a little hard on myself about my training, running, and perhaps even paddling. I get in my head that I am going to go out there and push myself as hard as I can at all times. And sometimes as is the case with frisbee this gets me hurt. With paddling this leads to me breaking paddles and getting sucked out of the kayak in 12 foot surf.

My first thought for myself this year is that sometimes it is enough just to get out there. I don’t need to be out front. I don’t always have to be that lone silhouette at the horizon that everyone is watching to see if they die on the next set of waves. This isn’t to say I have backed away from taking on new challenges or from risk taking in general, but that perhaps it is time to start picking my moments. A 35 knot wind with 10 foot on shore waves isn’t going to do it anymore. But a northerly twenty knots with a clean 6 foot break around the pier will.

So thought number two thought I will share that may seem in direct conflict with the first I am going to attribute to Leon Somme. Apparently he heard from an elite athlete and motivational speaker in Bellingham Washington that their approach to competition and life is all about self-image and what they believe they can do versus what their injuries and failures have told them they cannot do. Strangely this came up when I saw Leon’s height listed on the door jamb in the Body Boat Blade shop. It said 6 feet. I looked at Leon and he is about my height. So I asked him how he got to six feet tall. And he explained that he believes he is six feet tall and therefore he is. I thought about this in terms of the number of times I thought about this a lot over the holidays when I decided not to run or bike because I was afraid of putting in too many days and injuring myself again. When in this six foot tall mind frame. I will never be able to do it if I don’t believe I can do it. I am not saying I am going to hurt myself because I believe I am invincible quite the opposite. I am just not going to sit on my ass everytime I get an ache. I am going to do whatever I can do without hurting myself. If I can only run 2 miles without pain that is exactly what I am going to do until I can run without pain. And this is because I believe I can come back from all these injuries to do whatever I want. So many people have told me I should quit running or frisbee, or whatever. Maybe I should, but it just isn’t in me to quit something I love.

I ran a slow 36 minute race over a 4.3 mile course. And for a guy with a screeching hangover and a better chance of hurling his breakfast in the bushes than of winning his age group I felt it was a fairly good accomplishment. I won the 35 year old hernia repair, torn tendons, cracked ribs, and completely hungover because he stayed up all night drinking bourbon with his wife and his best mate division of the 1:1:1 run. While there is no medal for this event, I will say the efforts are their own reward.

Oh and by the way I too am six feet tall. Check out this picture of me next to Josh, he’s six feet one.

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David Goggins Ultramarathoner

I found this video on facebook of all places: Titled marathon videos.

David, who is also a Navy Sealcompleted the Mcnaughton 150 mile ultra-marathon in 33 hours.

In this motivational video he says quite a bit about the drive to finish things, to keep trying, and to perservere. For me this is the essence of why I run, kayak, or do anything. He says, “you have to be able to visualize yourself succeeding.” This really is why most people stay on the couch, they cannot picture the steps in between taking action and success. Whether it is running, kayaking, or biking, I’ve always had to have a mental picture of what my line is. In surf kayaking nothing can be more true. You have to be able to picture the greenwater ride before take-off otherwise you end up munched. The same holds true for running. I had to be able to visualize what 26.2 miles would feel like and picture myself finishing in order for it to happen. If anything that moment will stand with me for the rest of my life, because I had worked so hard to get there, and perhaps performed even better than I expected, it was one of the best days of my life.

Granted failure often teaches us more. All of my ugly swims before nailing a good roll were demonstrably more effective than successes in the pool. Yet I have to mentally picture the kayak sitting calmly upside down, setting up, the sweep and the layback to be able to roll up when it is really chaotic in the surf zone.

This video of David is pretty great, as is his cause. Being able to complete so many ultra-marathons with so many injuries defies conception even for people who have completed marathons. While I am not typically a flag-waver, these are the sort of people I want fighting for, and representing my country.

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The Kal-Haven Trail Link up to Downtown Kalamazoo

Runners and cyclists rejoice, a new low traffic route is available from downtown Kalamazoo. Right near Westnedge ave, the trailhead can be picked up and taken all the way to 10th avenue.

I ran the portion to Nichols this Sunday. Here is my route, (approximately).

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The qualified state of bliss from Running

Any runner will tell you that if you get moving, putting one foot in front of the other in rapid succession, your brain will release its firm grasp on things like depression, anxiety, and good things start to come.

Our world is filled with things, or for better or worse people that make us crazy. As autumn starts to roll in, the temperatures drop, and the body begins to crave distance. For now my body is letting me put in a run of over an hour run once a week. That hour is savored like whiskey as the world dumps its black misery upon me. Once out on the road, with my shoes on, the tunes going, I may as well be floating on air, because nothing can touch me for that hour.

Any runner will tell you that their best ideas come when running distance. Your body and mind shift from can’t do, to can do. And this is where the benefits come in. Our lives are full of restraints, responsibilities, and limitations. When you run, it is all about what you can do, what is possible.

Of course for those who do not love running, they will read this and think I am crazy, but if you want to try alternative therapy for depression. By a pair of running shoes and find out. Running is about setting goals, small and large, and then achieving them. Depression is the mind’s biochemical way of setting limitations, of saying what you can’t do, what won’t work, what is not possible. When you courageously put one foot in front of the other, a big hill becomes many small steps that lead to the summit.

Photo courtesy of Frech

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Running For Beer

My friend and neighbor Bill, had an ingenious idea Friday evening. The Runner’s Pub Crawl in Kalamazoo. We suited up Friday after work and plotted our course. We decided on a rough course of running from home, (Westnedge Hill) to Bell’s for a pint, then from Bell’s to Harvey’s for a quick pint/drink, then from Harvey’s to O’Duffy’s. As it turned out we added Martini’s Pizzeria around the corner due to the waiting list. All told it was around 5.5 miles.

The run took place on a cloudless breezy temperate day in August. As we will inevitably be submerged into 4 and a half months of darkness, one has to take advantage of the blissful sunlight while one can. There is really no better time or way to take advantage of the dense propagation of fine drinking establishments in downtown Kalamazoo than by running to each of them. I’ve done a cyclocross race in the Kiss Cross series called cycling for beer. But I’ve never heard of running for beer. Now was our chance to make that happen.

Stop One

Bill and I set an easy pace down to Bell’s, I had a business call while running, and was trying not to sound out of breath while heading downtown. We had a blissful pint out in the beer garden out at Bell’s Eccentric Cafe. Our wives biked down with the kids to meet us. We finished up and used the restroom to head over to O’Duffy’s.

Stop Two

We sort of got sidetracked while on the walking Mall and ran into Harvey’s to have a quick shot with some of my friends from Biggs-Gilmore. All I can say is that a shot of Jaeger and Monster is fortifying while running short distances.

Stop Three

O’Duffy’s was hopping. We even ran into local celebrity and author Bryan Charles who wrote Grab on to me Tightly As If I Knew The Way. I pumped him for information on his next book. No information was forthcoming other than, it is being edited. We downed a pint of Guinness and were planning dinner when it became apparent that being served at Cosmo’s was going to take a while due to the wait. So we decided to add one more stop for kicks and giggles.

Stop Four

Martini’s Pizzeria. We were seated immediately and ordered some salads and calzones. I was dreading the run back up Westnedge Hill. It has an infamous pitch and there is no way around it to get home. As it stood we made it back in style with no unplanned dinner refunds.

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First Four Mile Run after hernia repair

I tore my tendon 5 weeks after my hernia repair surgery at my first Ultimate Frisbee game of the season. I was able to keep cycling even with the torn tendon. The doctor said the flexion and extension would bother it. The stabilizing needs of running however were painful and out of the question anyway. I began to feel some imaginary weight and some real weight dragging me down each day I wasn’t running.

Cycling, though I love it, is not the same as running. Cycling is a different type of awareness and fitness. I love them both. I’m not sure I could live without either. But I know I would be in the looney bin without running. I suited up after work, feeling confident that I would take it easy and turn around if the tendon hurt. I followed my normal after work route across the north end of Kalamazoo. I was literally weeping with happiness by the time I hit mile one out of four. It’s safe tp say I place way too much value on this activity. But it’s my life.

Running is not like cycling, or kayaking, it is a safety net, a place to vent, it is the padded room where all my anxiety and fear are pounded out with no intermediary. A place where schemes are hatched, plans made, thoughts held dear, memories rebounded, grief reconciled, love and redemption found, and it is entirely independent of weather, equipment, or external forces. I can run in a rainstorm, a whiteout, 10 degree weather with 3 feet of snow, or ninety nine degree heat. I do not need a running partner, or encouragement, I do not need praise or reward, it is not to impress or show off for anyone, it is entirely between me and the road.

At times I feel like my body has failed me, but in my heart I know it has not. Sometimes things are taken away to teach compassion. Now that perhaps I can continue for some time, I don’t know how long, I will be more thankful for each mile, for each step my body gives back.

I have to offer thanks also to Laura for enduring my confinement. Certainly it must feel like she lives with a lunatic in the tower when I am not running.

As additional food for thought, check out the copy from this new Pearl Izumi ad campaign. I’ve been reading online how most people hate it. Personally I identify with it. I guess if they wanted to sway people over who are not runners, maybe this wasn’t the way to do it. But if they were trying to create a brand impression for the runners that are already out there, they got my attention. I think the copy is genius.

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Four weeks after my initial physician visit, I went in for another consulation with my family doctor. My family doctor, another runner, performed a hernia examination. His immediate conclusion was to see a surgeon about an Inguenal Hernia. While this may sound like bad news to most people. To me it is the solution to a complex anatomical algebraic equation with the variable x.

The prognosis seems to be see the surgeon, get surgery, have a teflon belt inserted in the abdominal wall, heal for two-three weeks, back on the road.

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At the beginning of February my marathon training program was going really well. My miles had been creeping up steadily and I hadn’t been injured. My hamstrings were taught as a kettle drum, but I thought this was something I could manage. My long runs were getting longer and my right knee wasn’t bothering me. Then a number of convergent coincidences all transpired simultaneously. I started having lower back pain about 2 weeks after we switched to a new mattress. This was also the same week that I began upping my miles past 8 on my long runs. I also had a couple of goofy falls some on my bike, some on alpine skis, and one in my own driveway on ice. All of this basically led up to me going to the chiropractor and into physical therapy. I didn’t hurt my back from my falls, but I think from hamstring inflexibility.

My marathon plan for Bayshore is on hold already!

But I am undaunted. After my last injury, I am more familiar with the time frame for the healing process. It will most likely be a few months before I am well enough to run at the level I was at before my injury.

Part of this is also keeping a positive attitude.